Mosquitos and Self Driven Imperatives

So I am solo this long weekend. Mia, Sprout, and Bird are off to Ohio to spend time with G. Grandma with Grandma in their minivan. Friday and Saturday were rife with me blowing off some steam at the Taste of Madison where I attended several shows, drank too much, and incurred several deep tissue bruises and strained tendons while in The Pit at the JJO stage. With that behind me I spent much of yesterday sleeping it off and resting as I appear to have my 3rd cold of the summer.

In between down times I have attempted to catch up on my yard work. The weather certainly is playing ball-upper seventies, clear and a nice breeze. But coming off of 4 weeks of intense rain the mosquitoes are fierce. Brushing a tomato plant to pick illicit a charge of dozens of insect fighters and weed whacking was downright dangerous (swatting and whacking are not a good combo). I had hoped that the higher temps in the afternoon would drive the mosquitoes for cover, but my afternoon weeding of the lettuce beds was an unmitigated victory for the several dozen mosquitoes who managed to count cou on my back. The only option I saw was to dress for the invasion by switching to light pants and a light, but baggy cotton shirt helped immensely, but also meant I lost about 2 quarts of fluid to sweat. Still I managed to pull 20 cu ft of weeds from the strawberry, tomato, and lettuce beds, picked a bushel of tomatoes, and started to hack down the corn stalks.

Today I am less adventurous, as much due to the welts on my back, neck and face as the stubbornness of my cold. But I have noticed something strange about being alone for 4 days. Without the family here to drive things, I find it- if anything- harder to relax. Especially with the kids here, one is never at a loss for what to do next. But alone, I have this devil on my shoulder driving me to the next thing every time I sit down to read or take a break. Even those two tasks took on an almost urgent tone-must rest and finish Noah’s Garden so I can build the rock wall at 2…

I have never lived alone-Mia and I’s relationship has always been the type that we are virtually inseparable. This may be the longest apart in our 10 years, and certainly it is the longest I have been alone. I can’t help but wonder what I am pushing myself towards, or away from. Perhaps my life is like my gardens-never done, never at rest.

Not sure if that is comforting or concerning.